Jwill's Log

It’s not about class averages. It doesn’t matter what everyone else gets. It’s about what I got before, what I’m getting now, and what I need to get to do better.

Sorry to show excess ego, but I feel like I’m selfless enough. I usually don’t do things for myself sometimes unless other people benefit as well.

My point is, I don’t care if the class average for a test is a 50. If I got a 55, I failed. That guy in the corner that got a 30 is not going to make me feel any better about myself. I know the world compares people to each other and uses these comparisons to determine worth, but I determine my worth upon whether or not I am making progress. Does it matter if I scored the highest grade in the class if it is a failing grade? On my transcript it would say 0.0, not Performed Better than Everyone Else. I don’t need to be a valedictorian. I don’t need to graduate top in SED [The School of Education] or top of my entire freshman class. I need grades that I feel are satisfactory, and in the process of these four years, I need to improve and convince myself that I’m doing better. Making improvement over previous work builds confidence, and I think more so than me just doing better than everyone else. I run my academic show like target practice; I take my first shot at it, and from that point out, I’m working to improve the power and accuracy of that shot. I don’t care if anyone else hit a bulls-eye or did this or that. I don’t care if you bowled a perfect game; all I care about is bowling a better game than I personally have ever bowled before.

My goal is self-improvement. If self-improvement eventually allows me to reach the point where I am the best in the batch, then that’s just a benefit, not an overall aim.

It speaks for itself.