There are two types of chemistry. We have a way of working with people on a one-on-one basis, which is individual chemistry. Also, we have a different way of working with two or more people at once, which is group chemistry. A group’s behavior is more complex than the behavior of two people.

Confusing introduction, yes. But here’s an example. Let’s say that I know a Person A. Together, he and I have decent conversations and we work well together. Let’s say I also know a Person B that I like to talk to and I get along well with. Individually, People A and B are great to have around. But what if People A and B meet each other? It could make our friendships better – “the more, the merrier,” they say. But it can also make our friendships worse. What if People A and B, when together, behave in a way that I don’t like? Have inside jokes that I don’t understand? What if they, inadvertently or otherwise, make me feel like a third wheel? As much as it is a benefit for them that they have met each other, it comes at my expense. People A and B become inseparable; joined at the hip. Since I can only deal with them individually and not both together, I end up spending less time with both of them merely because they met each other and are such good friends.

Perhaps it is selfish, but I do not think it is always beneficial to mix your friends together. There was an episode of Seinfeld in which Elaine calls Susan, George’s fiancée. George immediately becomes insulted by this, as his “worlds will collide” and the two different Georges, “independent” and “relationship”, will collide and “kill independent George”. I found this episode especially funny because George’s reasoning made sense to me and Elaine thought he was crazy for suggesting such a thing. I do not think it is a common thought that people like to separate their “worlds” or “bubbles,” but I firmly believe in it. I like to keep some friends isolated from others because I have such a great one-on-one chemistry with them. Once friends start to mix, bad things can possibly happen and then it may be hard to leave one group if something bad happens. Connections are sometimes bad; WWII started mainly because there were so many alliances. All these groups who had ties to one another and had to follow suit with their treaties led to an all-out war. Similarly, it may not be best to have people so deeply connected, either. What if something goes wrong?