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What happens when an impossible dream is obtained?
Is it appreciated as it should?
Or is it so unbelievable that it cannot be handled?
When the line between fantasy and reality is destroyed can one function properly?
Or does one implode?
Now that having her is no longer fantasy,
Do I have to reevaluate my feelings in this new reality?
Am I a fool or have I been waiting for so long
That I cannot shed my steel heart?
With the fear of overdoing it,
Am I beginning to “underdo” it?
Where is the medium, the middle-ground?
Why hasn’t it all hit me?
Why is there a lump in my throat when I speak of it?
Am I hiding something?
Or am I just afraid of not knowing how all this works?
A man who has gone without food for years,
Cannot relieve his starvation in one day.
As hungry as he is the more he eats,
The more upset his body will become.
He must eat in small portions
And satisfy his body gradually,
And soon he will be able to eat a full meal.
If this is true in the physical,
Can it not be true in the emotional.
One cannot love fully at one sight
When one fully understand what love really is.

One cannot rationalize love.
As when love becomes practical
It dries up.
How can one say “I love her,”
Merely because she loves me.
To say that is to put your
Heart on unstable ground
Whose foundation will collapse
At the slightest sign of doubt.

We cannot choose who we love.
It is not a decision.
It is more like a reaction
Coming deep from within your soul
As it touches the soul of another person.
The person may anger you, hurt you, despise you
But you cannot shake that love you have for them.
Which is why the people,
That can hurt us the most,
Are, ironically, the people that we love the most.

Love is not practical.
It cannot be dissected.
It cannot be analyzed.
Only a fool can fall in it,
For the smart ones step over the hole.
Love when analyzed becomes an enigma,
So I don’t want to think too hard,
The next time it knocks on my door.

Sometimes we cut ourselves short. We do it in work, our relationships, and our personal goals. We enter with a defeated attitude and wonder why we end up defeated. I just listened to Joel Olsteen’s podcast, “Freedom from Wrong Mindsets,” and was touched by its message.

The word intermingled with something I heard at church a couple of weeks ago. There was a story of a person who was always faithful but came to a verse in the bible that said the following:

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (Mark 11:124)

The person came to this verse and immediately started questioning God. He had not received “it,” even though he had asked in prayer and followed God’s word. What he didn’t realize the first time he read the verse was that he needed to “believe” that he received it. We have to claim that victory even before we put our armor on. How can we truly say we believe if we only do so after the victory?

This question is reminiscent of the test Satan wanted to give Job, questioning whether he would still be faithful to God even if all the things he was blessed with were taken away. The story proved that trusting in God should never be based on a causal relationship. I argue that you don’t serve to be blessed, you are blessed because you serve. Once you are inline with God you just need to make sure that you receive it.

As Joel says in his podcast we have to change our thinking. God only has victorious business plans for us but just as with business the employees need to buy into the plan unless it will fail.

The thoughts that contaminate our mind are those of inferiority and insecurity. We stand up to the same Goliaths that David faced and instead of claiming victory we either stand and quiver in fear or we run away. That giant could be success in school, finding a soulmate, finding a job, or any other obstacle. But whatever that obstacle we need to stand in front of it victoriously, knowing that God is with us.

To my beloved,
You are that lone star
In the city sky,
Special, unique, one of a kind.
There is no other,
That stands out as you do.
So why do I compare you
To the sun?
Is it fair…? It is not.
For I cannot obtain the sun…
And in truth, I do not desire it.
The sun has not won a piece of my heart.
The sun, although scorching hot,
Cannot warm me the way you do.

Can our love
Be as entwined vines?
Growing forever,
And forever together,
Making never-ending
Loops, twists and rings
Around each other,
So that there is no more “each other,”
Only one vine that grows combined,
Whether in rain, snow or sunshine.

I remember the days when my primary goal was to make it. I needed to do well in high school. I needed to get into a good college and choose a major. I needed to find a career I would love to do. I needed to get a good job. I’ve accomplished these things thus far and was ready to focus on the next steps when I realized my definition of “making it” had been wrong. I have everything I need right now in God and my family and friends.

I did not realize what I needed to do to really make it until after I was very sick. When I was in severe pain I would think to myself, “Why me? I still have so many things to accomplish? I’ve only just started.” When I finally got better my ideas started changing. Those accomplishments I thought I were the most important were merely supplementary. I believe that part of the reason God saved me from that sickness was because I had more of His work to do. There are people that I need to be there for. I need to remind those whose faith has faltered that they are never alone and with God they are never defeated. I want to share the new eternal happiness I have in my heart now with others.

To be frank, succinct and whatever other word means short and sweet (or bitter depending on how you feel) they are very hard. Although we have the same amount of eyes, legs, ears and arms men and women will feel like two distinct species. And of course this is the reason for many of the troubles and miscommunications in relationships.

Men will feel like a woman is trying to tie a leash around them while women will think men are trying to push them away and keep them at a distance. There are of course logical reasons for both of these reactions, but I am in no way excusing those men and women who act out because they are struggling for power or rule.

The major question that must be asked and answered is, “Is he/she in love with me?” The immediate question afterward would be, “Am I truly in love with him/her?” These questions should not be incredibly difficult to answer after you have gotten reasonably settled in a relationship. There may be problems but the unconditional love between you will always squash it in the end. If it cannot you may need to rethink things.

As hard as it is you may need to question the love you share. The love may be 100% genuine and real but it could just be that you just did not know each other enough to truly have that love. You loved that man/woman before you realized they had problem “x” or before they exhibited characteristic “y.” It is a tough luck loss if you two cannot overcome the new realizations. In many cases relationships crumble at this point, when the honeymoon is over and regular life sets in.

The following is an excerpt from a poem written by Alexander Pope. I came upon it because one of my favorite movies, “Eternal Sunsine of the Spotless Mind,” has a theme based up on the quote.

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!The world forgetting, by the world forgot.Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;- Alexander Pope 

What I get from this is the amazing power of memory and knowledge. This quote matches up quite well with the well-known quote “ignorance is bliss.” Can you imagine if someone’s memories of sorrows and hardships were erased? Would this person be abnormally positive? Would there be new hope because what had previously held back that hope had been removed? The quote also reminds me of the innocence of a child as when he is born he has a spotless mind. It’s amazing how a child in different circumstances can come out totally different in each circumstance. And it is these children that become our dictators, despots, and terrorists as well as our heroes, presidents, and civil leaders.

Shall I turn my light offIn the darkness
When I fear what I may see?
And only have it onIn the light
When things are more comfortable for me?

Shall I bind my voiceIn the noise
When I feel no one will hear?
And only speakIn the silence
When I am confident I will be lent an ear?

Shall I just laugh and and smileIn your presence
When I feel the truth will hurt you?
And only be trueIn your absence
When there is no possibility of losing you?

Shall I take a neutral stanceIn the disagreements
When I know most will not agree
?And only express my sideIn the agreements
When I know others will concur with me?

Shall I blend with the crowdIn the world
When I know it would make me fit in?
And only liveIn the Spirit
When people of the world are not looking?

Shall I stand and observeIn the distance
When I feel I cannot make a difference?
And only help those who comeIn front of me
When there is the least resistance?

Shall I only keep my shield
In my hand
When I don’t want to seem to be against anyone?
Or rather, be brandishing my sword
In both hands
Openly battling for Jesus Christ’s kingdom.

The Question
What is being in love?
Is it merely a reaction
of chemicals in one’s mind?
Is it merely just an attachment
to another?
A feeling that you cannot livewithout them?
Or is it a feeling ofpure euphoria?
How do you know when youare truly in it?
And how do you know when
you are just holding onto something?

The Response
Being in love is looking into her eyes,
And wanting to see deeper and deeper,
So that your eyes are dazzled by the beauty of her soul.
Being in love is wanting to whisper into her ears,
Dying to express a love so deep it cannot be expressed with mere words,
But as futile as it is you cannot stop.
Being in love is never wanting to let go of her,
Always yearning for her kiss, her embrace, her touch,
And feeling that you are “home” when she’s next to you.
Being in love is excitement and happiness
To even merely hear her name mentioned,
To merely see it written on a piece of paper.
Being in love is dying to see her,
And dying when she has to leave.
Being in love is wanting to be with her forever,
But feeling that forever is not enough time.

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